Early Morning Wakings — Why They Happen and How to Fix Them!
At some point in motherhood, there’s at least one period of time where one of your children is waking at the butt crack of dawn and refuses to sleep in…and by “sleep in”, I mean until at least 7am (but we all know that’s a cruel joke in and of itself).
The truth is, early morning wakings are suuuuper common among babies and toddlers. And it’s usually one of the biggest problems exhausted moms come to me with in the very beginning of working together one-on-one.
So, I thought I’d unpack this phenomenon a little more to give you a better sense of why this happens and what you can do to help solve the issue all on your own (yay!).
Better Daytime Sleep for Babies & Toddlers
Generally speaking, the #1 reason for early morning wakings is due to overtiredness at bedtime. And contrary to popular belief, overtiredness is usually due to compounded lack of sleep over time. Meaning, if your kiddo is supposed to nap during the day but is consistently taking crap naps all day long, all of that lost sleep throughout the day builds up, making bedtime an absolute headache and early mornings a regular thing.
You might be thinking, “But wait…you’re saying that if my baby goes to bed overtired, THAT’S what’s causing him to wake up early the next morning? Huh?!” And the short answer is YES! Let’s go a little deeper…
Overtiredness messes with your child’s biological clock and sleep cycles, meaning that he’s not able to actually fall asleep easily or stay asleep in a way that aligns with his body’s natural circadian rhythm. Our body’s circadian rhythm can effectively be reset every day, and is really based on light and food inputs that our body receives throughout a 24-hour period. For babies and children who still nap throughout the day, that daytime sleep serves an important purpose when it comes to setting them up appropriately for overnight sleep and working with their biological clock.
If you’ve ever heard the phrase “sleep begets sleep”, this is exactly where it came from! The better sleep your child gets that’s age appropriate throughout the day, the better and longer he will generally sleep at night. This isn’t to say that you should be replacing lost overnight sleep with naps during the day, so don’t confuse the two! But if your child is taking solid naps at the right times and for the right length of time during the day, he’ll more than likely go to bed easily and stay asleep until 6-7am without a hitch.
So, how do we make this happen? The best way is to start implementing a solid routine during the day and at bedtime so your child’s body learns exactly what to expect and when. That means, waking up at the same time every morning (yes, even on weekends) and taking naps at about the same time every day for the same length of time. Depending on your child’s age, he might need one or more naps to get him through the day, with designated windows of time between (aka. wake windows). Paying attention to those wake windows is key to ensuring he doesn’t get too tired between naps or before bed. And let me tell you – the difference between a well-rested put down and an overtired put down can be anywhere from a few minutes to a few hours. So, do yourself a favor and just start focusing on those wake windows now to make your life a heck of a lot easier!
Earlier, Age-Appropriate Bedtimes
This also means that you should be getting your child to bed at an age-appropriate time in the evenings, as well. For most babies 4-12 months, bedtime should be around 6:30/7pm. For older kiddos, it generally ranges anywhere from 7-8pm. This might interfere with adult plans and social outings sometimes, but I promise it’s worth prioritizing your kiddo’s bedtime if you don’t want to be up all night or jolted awake in those “it’s so dark, the birds aren’t even awake” hours of the morning. If you have the means, snag a sitter to help out so you can still enjoy yourself while your kiddo can get the rest they need.
Drop the Preschool Nap
For preschool-aged kids, I often get clients complaining about their four and five-year-olds getting up before the sun and/or fighting bedtime until way too late (sometimes 9 or 10pm!). My first question in this instance is always “Does your child still nap at school?” and lemme tell ya – nine times out of ten, the answer is yes.
For children over age three, it’s developmentally unnecessary for them to be napping during the day if (and only if) you want to preserve an earlier bedtime and later morning wake-up (ex. 7pm to 7am). There are only so many hours in a day that any one of us (including adults!) can actually sleep. So, if your kid is shaving off some hours at night or in the early morning with daytime sleep, naps are likely your biggest problem.
But if you’re in this situation, don’t fret! My kids went through the same thing. And while it’s really frustrating for parents, it can be solved with a few small tweaks.
First and foremost, have an open and honest conversation with your child’s preschool teacher about their overnight sleep habits and where you’re experiencing issues. Explain that you’d like him or her to please stop offering naps (if that’s an option) or offer a quiet activity instead of a nap to keep your child occupied during the designated nap period.
Even better, ask if they can be moved to a brightly lit space for some quiet time so they’re not tempted to fall asleep. Remember, sleep hormones are produced based on the signals our bodies get from external factors, like light, sound, social interaction, and food. The more we can limit sleep-inducing environmental factors, the easier it will be for him to stay awake.
This can take some adjusting at first, where dropping that last nap can take some time. Some days, your child might absolutely need it, and other days he may be fine to go without. But know that by the time he’s three-and-a-half, it’s time to ditch the nap altogether to preserve and prioritize overnight sleep. His circadian rhythm will need a few days to regulate, but you can help the process along by getting lots of natural sunlight first thing in the morning, in the late afternoon, and using a slightly earlier bedtime for a few days. The reset will happen, you just have to be a little patient and stay consistent.
Early morning wakings can be super rough on everyone, your child included! But they don’t have to be your new normal or stick around forever. Assess what’s going on with your kiddo during the day and see where you can make some changes using the tips in this post to get his sleep back on track. And if all else fails, you know I’m always here to support you along the way.
Still struggling with your child’s sleep and need some extra help? Book a free discovery call with me and let’s figure out the right solution for you and your family.
